Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Pure Joy! Big Bummers! The rollercoaster I cant seem to get off of...

Hi all ... sorry it has been a couple of weeks since my last confession. I was hitting a bit of a road block or a plateau of some kind. The usual things for me : not enough water, not enough calories, not enough PA. Not a mystery! I ate low calorie but too low.

I kicked it into gear this week (well, water and having calorie variations) and it has done the trick. This week I hit my goal, 25 lbs before Hawaii!!!! I started my journey on Nov 3rd and it will take a vacation ... when I take my vacation tomorrow.

It has been fairly steady, 2.5 - 3 a week. No big losses ... and no big gains ... just a couple of lulls.

Holidays ... boy, were they rough. Thanksgiving and Christmas were not that hard for me, I managed to stay on the program 100%, which is amazing. New Years day I fell off the wagon a bit. I made an executive decision have mimosas as my liquid diet :) I counted the calories ... and sodium. Who knew that Cava has virtually no sodium, that was exciting to me! Of course once I had consumed the entire bottle of Cava and the equiv of 1.5 cups of juice ... i was a bit buzzed and suddenly felt like frozen mashed potatoes and Christmas cookies were what I needed. Dumb ass!

We talk about accountability. As I do not go to any HMR program meetings, I am more or less accountable only to myself, which means I can rationalize being bad with the best of them. Over New Years I was alone. My Boyfriend left town to visit his family for the holidays and I stayed home to work. So here I was all alone on New Years Day ... just me ... the cookies ... the mimosas ... and the Citrus Bowl (Go Dawgs). It reminded me of sneak eating ... as I did when I was a child. I know had my family been around I would have not had those urges, so I think my accountability lives within those around me, not myself.

Hawaii ... what is my plan. My first instinct is to just go crazy. I have fantasised of getting some amazing muffin at the air port ... lots of fruity drinks by the pool...lavish dinners, etc. The reality is that I am cheap ... and poor ... so I dont know that we will be having all of the lavish dinners. I dont know that I am going to really want to eat all that much. What I do know is that I will find some protein shakes (or slimfast) for breakfast. Have a very light lunch. I will save myself for dinner. I know there will be some meals that will be treats ... but I cannot treat every meal as a treat. Mentally I think I will come unwound if I gain back a lot of weight. I know I will gain some, but I am not ready for it yet!

On the plus side, we will not have a car. So ... we will be footing it most places. I will still be wearing my awesome SenseWear, so I will know how many steps, how many calories, and how much "moderate" or "vigorous" activity I am having. That will keep me aware. Its a game, doing anything I can to burn 2500 calories in a day. Often I find myself sitting in bed, watching TV and doing punches and twists with my upper body for 10 mins to eek in those last few calories before midnight. My cats look at me like I am crazy ... but who cares!

Thanks all for your support, I will be back on Wednesday the 14th. I may take my laptop (for fear that something will blow up at work when I am gone) so you might see me before I get back. There might be some email to blog feature I havent activated yet ... we will see.

The holidays are rough when you are following a plan that no one else is following. Lots of "oh, its just one time" or "come on, its Christmas!". The reality is, I treated most days like "christmas" which is what got me here. I can't count how many weekends I bought a carton of Moose Tracks and at it thinking "better get it now, my diet starts monday". Now, I have to treat everyday as monday ... and try and keep on track. I will be thinking of that while on vacation ... hopefully it will keep me on the straight and narrow.

PS. 24 hrs 40 mins 30 seconds until I am in the air on the way to Hawaii. WOOOO! (i am fairly impossible to be around right now, sorry!)

3 comments:

Sara said...

Glad to here from you! I was getting worried (as if I really 'know' you) :) Have a wonderful time in Hawaii!! I'm jealous! Drink lots of water... a friend of mine with a major in physiology said that you can really drink anything you want and not gain weight if you drink enough water. Have a great time!!!! Sara

Sara said...

Ooops... I meant "hear". :)

DJ said...

Enjoy Hawaii - sounds like fun.
So glad that you hit your goal before the trip, you'll have so much more energy!